go back to sleep, mom.

Lauren has been sleeping through the night in her own room for a few weeks. Not necessarily in her bed, but in the room, nonetheless. Then, a few nights ago, she snuck into our bed in the middle of the night again. The next morning, we talked about why she needs to stay in her own room (I love you but I need my sleep, too).
That night, I woke to her foot steps, raised my head and saw the top of her head peaking over our tall bed. "Lauren, go back to your room" I mumbled. She shushed me as she climbed onto the bed, "go back to sleep, mommy. Stay asleep."  The mommy got shushed by the three year old.
Later, she told me she wanted me to stay asleep so I would not tell her to go back to her room. Good logic? Yes. Am I just a tad bit worried about what her teenage years are to be like? Just a bit. Just a bit.

Summer 2012

The starting of school usually signifies the end of summer. Tomorrow, Evelyn starts kindergarten. Tomorrow, I will be seeing her off at the end of the drive way, watching her get on a school bus to spend her whole day at school. I am trying not to be too sentimental, but the flood of emotion seems to be just barely contained behind my eyes. If I don't blink hard enough, or fast enough, the pressure will build and the dam will break. That won't happen though. My little girl is so psyched about going to school, so happy to begin this new part of her life, I will be happy for her, too. I will not stop and mourn the end of her toddler hood. Tomorrow, I will celebrate with her as she embarks on her new adventure. At least, that is what I am telling myself.

It has been such a busy summer. Nathaniel arrived at the start of it. Though having a new born does limit our travelling, it does not mean that the girls were trapped home in any way. There were plenty of trips to the lake, first encounters with a slip-and-slid, and a morning spent at the pool equipped with water slides at One Stop Fun. Evelyn finally realized that she can go without her goggles and still be equally fearless in water. Lauren is getting closer and closer to finally dip her chin in to blow bubbles.

Evelyn had her first summer camp - the little Italian chef pasta making. From a simple mixture of flour and water (and once with a little bit of tamarind for color), she made delicious tofie and bow ties, papadelles and fettuccine. She also had her first piano lessons. After three classes, she was doing well enough that the teacher suggested us enrolling her into the 1st and 2nd grader's class, skipping the kindergarten level.

Inspired by the performances of the London Olympic athletes (even Lauren knows the names of fab five) and the performers of Circus Smirkus, the girls did a lot of gymnastics at home. Cart wheels, hand stands, and backward rolls can take place anywhere. The girls are especially creative on the swing set. Evelyn's most daring move is to hang upside down on the trapeze with only one leg hooked on. After sliding off once, landing on the ground heavily with a solid "oof", she's learned to entwine her free leg over the hooked leg to make herself more secure while still freeing up her hands. She's getting so strong she is able to swing across the whole length of the monkey bar multiple times without help. Lauren is an acrobat in training, too. With a little help of mommy (who often is also wearing their baby brother in a pouch), she can swing half way through the monkey bar, or get herself onto the trapeze.

We went to Plymouth Plantation to visit the pilgrims and check out the May Flower. Visited the Franklin Park Zoo where Evelyn climbed up and down the zebra wall to get down the twisty, super fast giraffe slides, and Lauren showed us just how far those two-year-old legs can walk (far!). Had play dates (and even an early dinner) with Amelia and Kaylie (sometimes with Kasen, Hadleigh, and Wyatt) as well as Alana and Evelyn's future kindergarten griends. Picked strawberries with A-Ma and Nanny, and peaches and blueberries with Ben and Max. Went to Fifer's day fair, Acton's Town Fair, Bolton Fair, and the Middlesex County 4-H fair. Went through a beautifully laid out corn maze that hid 3 wine tasting stations in it, and visited Nashoba winery afterwards on a glorious summer day (I got to walk and nurse Nathaniel while in the maze. Would  have made for a great FB status if I had a smart phone to do so on the spot).

While we weren't able to visit anyone, people came to visit us. A-Yis and A-Gu visited aplenty, making the girls very happy. Evelyn discovered her love of photo taking using A-Yi's cell phone. Sandie A-Yi gave her her phone's password in exchange for a little bit more sleep (Evelyn climbed into her bed before 6), and woke up to a good number of new photos and a couple of videos in her phone. Auntie Liz also came back and took the girls to Davis Farmland with Nanny. Ben and Max came for a weekend. Max became Evelyn's little shadow, following wherever she goes, doing whatever she does, wanting whatever she chooses.

It's a summer with a lot of growing and of learning new stuff. Evelyn started to read. Lauren started to recognize alphabets and numbers. It's a summer full of joy and fun and smiles and laughs. And now it is coming to an end. Tomorrow, Evelyn starts school. It feels like the end of an era. But I will refrain from thinking that way, and only think of it as a beginning.

Roar

When at play, if someone chases Lauren hard and long enough, and mommy is not there to provide her legs to hide behind, Lauren would turn around, curl her fingers into claws, scrunch up her nose, roar like a monster, and give chase of her chaser, reversing their original roles. That is how my two year old takes control of the situation.

Pop quiz

1. Which of the following names do you think the baby most associate himself with?
a. Nathan
b. Nathaniel
c. Nat
d. Baby brother

2. Waking up at a reasonable hour (7am) means you might find the 2 and 5 year olds:
a. Wearing nail polish not only on nails, but also on fingers and toes, elbows and noses
b. With a temporary (thank goodness) tattoo on cheek
c. Sitting at their little table, spoons in hand, sharing a jar of peanut butter which they obtained by scaling the cupboards with the help of a kitchen stool
d. All of the above

3. What does the girls get yelled at most with?
a. SPACE! (as in give the baby some space!)
b. SHARE!
c. What did I just say? (Is your ears stuffed with cotton?)
d. Keep the crumbs on your plate!

4. What should a mother do when her baby is asleep? (Please pick a most reasonable option.)
a. Go use the bathroom without having to hold a child in your lap.
b. Eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner without fear of dripping on your baby who is only happy in your arms
c. Do some work (house work or otherwise)
e. Prep lunch/dinner
f. Take a nap
f. All of the above, preferably simultaneously


Answer keys:
1. d. 2.d. 3.a. 4.Hm... the most reasonable option... I think this is a trick question...

As a mother of three

As a mother of more than one, you learn to cook dinner with one arm, nurse the baby that is cradled in the other arm at the same time, and shield him from any potential hot oil splashes with your exposed belly.

You learn to hold the baby in one arm, shower one child with the other arm, while encouraging (through clenched teeth, but calmly, if barely) the one on the potty to hurry up.

You learn to maneuver those bulky shopping carts that has a toy car attached up front making it impossible for you to see what is in front of you. You have to, once  you've run over your own child who was dragging her feet right at your blind spot, or knock over a display or two (or three or four).

You learn that a child can fit herself into a shopping cart in thirty seven different ways, thirty two of which are one way only. You also learn to ignore the onlookers curious glances while extracting the child.

You learn that no matter how you cook it, a broccoli is a broccoli is a broccoli. And it is not finding its way into your children's mouth.

You learn the many shades of whine of a child, none of which are pleasant.

You also learn the various brightness of laughter, all of which make life so much better.

Summer evenings, on the porch swing

Happiness can be found on the porch swing on a mild summer evening when the breeze blows cool and gentle and the little one nests contently on my chest while the two girls run happily around the yard collecting fallen leaves and weeds for their stove that is the front step.

Welcome, my little boy

Still an hour shy of a day old, what are you dreaming about that would make you squint up  your face and cry? Was it the scary process of being born? Of getting squeezed out from the warm, dark, floating space of mommy's womb to this bright and noisy place where sometimes your limbs are exposed to the open air?

You came yesterday morning. Around 2:55am, Mommy awoke to a painful contraction. Whereas previous contractions are comforting assurances of my body getting ready for your birth, nothing more then a tightening that is slightly uncomfortable, this contraction was a jabbing pain. I lay there in the dark and waited. Sure enough a second one came, and then a third, all 8 minutes apart. After an hour of this, I went downstairs to check on my computer and decided that this might be the real deal. One week ahead of our scheduled induction, and you decided to take things into your own hand. You were coming.

I woke your daddy, and after he was ready, at around 5, we roused your sisters. Both went from being groggy from sleep to wide awake when we told them that you are likely to make your final appearance. Both got dressed and loaded into the car with a rare display of efficiency. Your Nanny and Granddad then picked them up around 5:30 at the hospital. By then, I was 4.5-5 cm dilated (was 2-3 a week ago) and my blood pressure went up. By then, the chances of us leaving with you still in my belly has shrunk to near nothing.

The doctor came around 7:30 to check on us. I've progressed another couple of centimeters. Before then, I've put off deciding whether I want pain medications or not. The problem was, I was completely comfortable during the couple of minutes between contractions. I could even fall asleep. But when the contractions came, there was no questioning that they were building in intensity and demanding more and more of my energy and efforts to ride through it. It scares me to be washed away in the pain and loose control of it all. When the doctor came back again a little after 8 to break my water, I was fighting with a contraction and noting that they are about to transition into their final phase. I told her I am going with the epidural this time, and what a difference it made. The epidural went in around 9. After that, instead of the pain, the contractions became a very manageable pressure in my lower abdominal. I not only could joke with the nurses through it, I actually had to tune into it to make sure I don't miss any time-to-push signals. An hour later, I furrowed my brows and discerned that perhaps the pressure I was feeling had changed. The nurses called back the doctor who almost went back to her office to see a couple of patients, and I started pushing. With your sisters, the pain were crushing waves that I struggle to stay afloat and breath. The pushing process was more or less a haze in which actions and happenings blend together until at last a baby was handed to me. With you, however, I was calm and clear headed and present. Fully aware of the room, the people in it, and my surrounding. The pressure when I needed to push was still hard to bear, but between pushes, man, I was even able to chat with the doctor and ask after her son. Four pushes through the contractions, and at 10:08, you were pulled out and handed to me. Gurgling and confused, you cried right away. A little bundle of life. Three times I've been handed a baby right out from my body, and each time, it is equally profound, incredulous, miraculous, and wonderful. Red faced, a full head of hair, little cries and waving limbs. You are mine and ours, living, breathing, and starting a life of your own. What awaits you, only time would tell, but you will have us by your side, always.

Welcome to the world, my son.

Two with an attitude

Lauren found a new game. She climbs onto the toy chest in their room, which is probably a foot and a half high, then while holding onto my hand (that's her compromise), jumps down. After a thrilling few jumps, she demonstrated her invented game to her father. Her father's response "this scares me." With a smile, Lauren calmly gave her retort, "than go away."

Later that night, the girls' dad told me Lauren said "oh shoot!"while watching him play Diablo earlier. Yes, my ballet loving, princess dressing, dolly playing 5- and 2- year old daughters are also well versed in Star Wars - game and movie, and the newest Diablo. They each have an in-game character; scary looking witches and sorcerers with sweet names like Violet and Lilly. They know about skeleton kings and quests and raids. If they hear any dramatic conversation or musics coming from the office, they, especially the older one, would rush over to claim their stools beside their father to watch him play. Apparently, their father's character was attacked by a bunch of bad guys today. And, according to Lauren "they look tough, so I said 'oh shoot!'" 

Dear little one

Dear little one,

Am I really too ambitious, thinking that I can teach and work on a dissertation, and handle a new born come June all at he same time? Maybe. But if I have to give any of the above up, it will not be you.

Today, I ran into the doctoral program adviser in the hall way. She asked me about my progress. Yes, yes, I am shaping up my topic. Yes, yes, I'm doing preliminary lit review. Yes, yes, I am forming a dissertation committee. "And how are other things going?" she asked, not that subtly indicating towards my growing belly, at you.
"It's going well," I said.
"Uh-huh. Is it going to cause problems?" ("It"? You know, "baby" isn't a bad word to use, even if we are standing in the hall way of an academic institution.)
"I've budgeted a couple months time for when the baby comes."
"Good. As long as you factored it into your timeline. What is this, your third?"
"Yes, my third."
"Jesus!" She reacted in a you-are-so-out-of-your-mind, this-is-too-outrageous-to-comprehend sort of way. And I wondered, is three the new twenty in academia?

I walked away after the brief exchange bitterly amused by it. School and motherhood is an uneasy mix. Balancing the two is challenging enough, it turns out that finding someone established within an academic organization who understands what parenting is about and how why a not-crazy-person might choose to become a parent is even more difficult. When you face a roomful of faculties who chose not to have children, how do you explain that you really only have two full work days a week because motherhood takes up the rest of the day AND night, physically AND mentally? How do you convey that sitting on a park bench watching children play for a couple of hours is a good use of your time? How do you help them understand a sick child or a school vacation day means no work time for you? How do you help them see that even though these are the cases, without your children, you will not be complete any more?

But never mind them. I look at your sisters, listen to their laughter, bask in the overflowing glow of love they shower each other in, and feel a joy and contentment that I cannot put into words. I feel your movements in me and cannot wait to meet you, learn more about you, and see you jump into play with your sisters. Yes, you are my third. You are not a roadblock. You are not an extra. You are not the "break" that needs to happen. You are my child, and you will be cherished just like my first and my second are. You will be (are already) loved with all of my heart.

Love is in the air

Monday, when I went to pick Evelyn up, a little boy whom she'd be in the same class with since summer before last came to her and gave her a prolonged, real, heart-felt hug while mumbling "see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow." I told him she won't be back the next day, but will be here again on Wednesday. He looked kind of sad. I wondered what that was all about.

Wednesday morning, as I busied myself helping Evelyn stuff her winter jacket onto her hook, I noticed that, out of all the empty mail boxes, hers were filled with drawings. I thought they may be her art work that I neglected to bring home of Monday, and I thought wrong. They were 11 stick figure drawings, all from the little boy, drawn especially for her. Eleven. Evelyn told me he would also like a play date.

Thursday morning, I got an email from the little boy's mom inviting Evelyn over for the play date.

Friday morning, I signed Evelyn in, looked up, and found the little boy, with his eyes already glued on Evelyn, asking her to go over. Behind him, their teacher looked over and mouthed the words "so in love!" After over a year of being in the same class, it seems like the boy has finally really seen Evelyn and been entranced. He gazed at her through lunch while she munched on without a clue, asking her questions like "Evelyn, do you like the color blue?" He talked and asked about her on the days when she wasn't there, and generally stayed by her when she is. It is very cute, this puppy love. But, you know, with an intensity that took me by surprise. I mean, it's been only a week and we're heading over for a play date already! Clearly not harboring just a slow burning fire, this one!

I am simultaneously amused and heart warmed and, I don't know, nervous about it. Love, could be a finicky thing. I wonder how long it will last and how it will all unfold. I hope it will remain as sweet and fun and harmless as my own first crush (at 7) was.

Lauren's world of purple

Lauren has a purple car. She drives this purple car with her purple key. And in this purple car is the purple blanket of her doggy (which I don't think is purple). She would drive this purple car to her park that has rides (aka Disney), or go to the doctor's to get her purple medicine, which she will take in her purple cup. Thankfully, this purple world happens only in her imagined world. When we sit down for dinner, I am still free to give her a yellow cup. Her sister used to have one regular imaginary character, Janey, that would assume the role of a sister, daughter, or a friend. But Janey always stayed within a story framework, and not into the physical world. Lauren's imagined details, now, have begun to spill over into real life. Yes, there were times when we can't clean up toys because doggy is still using them. But then...

I lay down with her at bed time the other day. It was cold, and I asked her to share a corner of her blanket with me.
"But you have a blanket," she told me, sitting up to point at my legs which are not under any cover that I can see.
"Where?" I asked, a bit confused.
"You have doggy's blanket. Doggy is sharing with you," she said, settle back into bed again and regathering every inch of blanket back to herself.
Right. "But I want the real blanket," I sounded whiny, but I was cold.
"You have the purple blanket. Green blanket is mine," the green one is the solid one that I can see, touch, and get to launder from time to time. The purple one is the cousin of the emperor's new cloth.
After much negotiating, she finally relented and generously let me have some real blanket on top of the doggy blanket. The greedy mommy, hogging TWO blankets.

Another such episode happened in the bathroom, because of course that's where everything takes place. This time she came in with me to use the potty. When it was my turn to go, she turned to open the door. I stopped her, and she said, very indignantly "but doggy has to go potty!" "Tell doggy to wait, she can go after me." I'm getting good at this. When it was doggy's turn, we left the room and closed the door so doggy can have some privacy that I didn't get to enjoy. No, I was not jealous at all.

Who do you love more?

Since Daddy's her ride buddy at Disney and also her Star War game um... mentor, Evelyn told me the other day: "I love Daddy more then I love you now. I hope you don't mind." As long as you also love me, I'm okay with that, I think.

Situations that makes me cry and laugh at the same time

The two girls love each other. There's no questioning that when you see Lauren volunteering hugs to Evelyn when Evelyn was upset, or when Evelyn bring home art projects with TO LAUREN sprawled all over the top. On Evelyn's school day, Lauren asks about Evelyn's whereabouts, and when Lauren needs to use the potty, Evelyn willingly goes to help situate her onto the training seat. However, no relationship is healthy without some bickering and fighting sprinkled in between, especially now that both of them can express their feelings quite eloquently (by shouting no) and have firm opinions on how things should go. But sometimes, oh, sometimes the reason and ways they fight makes me wonder if I should be upset or just let go and bust my gut laughing.

Example 1.
When we are out in the public, if one of us need to use the potty, all three of us would have to go and squeeze into the public restroom, bag, winter jackets and all. Squeezing into one stall is already difficult enough especially if you wonder about the sanity of the surrounding. When the time comes to close and lock the door, both girls would fight to do it, as if operating the flimsy door latch is the ultimate proof of ability and power. So, one will lock it, then be ordered to back away so the other one can unlock it and lock it again. Same thing happens when we are all finished and need to leave. Both will again fight for the privilege to unlock the door and set us all free. The only solution I came up with is this: the older one unlocks the door, gets out first. The younger one and I remain in the stall, lock it again, so the younger one can unlock it and get out. This little dance has become a part of our potty ritual.

Example 2.
Again, potty related. This time, it happened at home. When I need to go potty, Lauren usually rushes ahead so she can situate herself on her little stool squarely in front of me as I go about my business. Sometimes with a toy, sometimes with a book. In any case, if she's home with me, I don't get to go to the bathroom by myself. So on this day, it happened as usually. Lauren and I were both in the bathroom when Evelyn got bored and demanded from the family room: "I NEED A GROWN UP TO PLAY WITH ME!" Before I can even begin to reply, the little two year old sitting in front of me yelled back, at the top of her lungs: "SHE NEEDS SOME PRIVACY!!!!" Yes, I do, my dear, I do.

Example 3.
There was one day when Lauren finally decided she can award me that little bit of privacy in the bathroom and left me by myself in it. She made sure things were okay by opening the door (a new skill she just developed, to my dismay) every 30 seconds or so to tell me: "Let me check on you. Are you okay?"

Example 4.
The girls can fight in magnificent ways. Evelyn got Lauren mad one day. Lauren responded by getting into her face to tell her "NO!" Evelyn does not like Lauren yelling at her, so she shouted back "DON'T DO THAT!" Which Lauren didn't like to hear either, so she yelled back "DON'T DO THAT!" The next five minutes, the house rang with shouts of "DON'T DO THAT!" One retaliating the other. If we hadn't stopped laughing and interfere, I fear it could go on for hours.

A rumbling account on Disney's Hollywood Studio & Magic Kingdom II

Hollywood Studio --
Too short for some rides, too young to properly appreciate the others, Lauren was largely bored here. The only ride that she really, really enjoyed and wanted to do again was Toy Story Mania. She also liked the Disney Playhouse Live Show, singing and dancing along. Indiana Jones she found silly. Beauty and the Beast and the Voyage of the Little Mermaid were sort of okay, but too loud for her.
Evelyn, however, found a favorite in the new Star Wars ride. It's not a gentle ride. Daddy actually found it "scarier" then some of the rides that Evelyn rejected based on her scary scale. But it's Star Wars! And ever ride might present a different story line, and so Evelyn couldn't get enough of it. She rode it four times. Each time existing the ride with such a beam on her face and spring in her steps, there is no mistaking how much fun she was having.

Magic Kingdom II --
Crowds! Is it a national holiday somewhere? There was so much people there that the park actually delayed closing for one blessed hour. The day started out promising, we went from ride to ride without much wait time. Then, we stopped for breakfast, and all momentum was was lost. The long wait at lunch at Chrystal Palace (with reservations!) didn't help either. We went back to the hotel for a midday break and for Evelyn to thoroughly enjoy the slide at the pool (perhaps her favorite thing in all Disney), then went back for a show and the Electric Parade. After the parade though, the crowd either lingered for the fire works show or missed the prolonged opening hour announcement and dispersed. Yay for us. We rode probably as many rides in that one hour as we did the rest of the day. We saw the firework light up the world and bloom overhead as we went from ride to ride. Even the way it caused the shadows to shift was magnificent.
After Star Wars ride, Evelyn is much more open to various rides, and finally agreed to try Space Mountain. She enjoyed the initial parts, but got annoyed when the ride caused her headband to fall and got scared during the pitch-dark-drop parts. Despite all this, on the second day, when we were discussing which park to visit again, she volunteered to go on it again if we decide to go back to Magic Kingdom. Her thrill-riding parents are very proud of her for just trying.

A rambling account of Universal, Sea World, and Disney (Epcot & Magic Kingdom I)

Universal -
Stayed at Universal Lowe's Royal Pacific hotel which means we can walk to the Island of Adventures in 10-15 minutes, or take a water taxi (!!) there. It also means that we get to go the Wizarding World of Harry Potter an hour before it's open to the public, and have express pass to every ride! So, 7:45am, and we are racing from the water taxi dock to Diagon Alley and Hogwarts. 7:55am, Evelyn and Daddy are already on the Flight of the Hippogriffs. It was a mild roller coaster, really, nothing fancier then the kiddie ones at Canobie Lake Park, but it was much higher and bigger in scale, which caused Evelyn to deem it "too fast", and made her "a little bit scared". Daddy went on to tour Hogwarts. Then, Lauren and Mommy got in line to visit Ollivander's wand store. The wait was long. But we had fun in the line just goofing off and finishing our breakfast croissant (the bag of grapes was the best deal I've seen in theme parks). The little demo in the store (small, cramped, dark, but quite faithful to the book) was short but Lauren found it very amusing (Mommy is jaded and all too aware of the fact that the store owner is but an actor following a script). Frozen butter beer is very yummy (even if the weather is still a bit chilly for any frozen drinks). Daddy's Dragon Challenge ride was terrific (he rode the blue this time, I think). The store displays in the Wizardy World are whimsy and fun (Lauren was deeply worried for the crying Mandrake. "Where's the baby's mommy?" Mommy wishes there's more to the displays besides a few store fronts.) Then, the crowd began to really thicken, so we went to Seuss' Landing and rode - One Fish, Two Fish (once, cause Lauren doesn't want to get wet), the carousel (twice), the Cat in the Hat (three times -- we all really loved it), and the trolley train ride (four times -- we all really, really loved it). The rides incorporated the rich materials from Dr. Seuss books, and the colors, oh the colors and shapes are fabulous. We went back to the three broom sticks for lunch. Evelyn LOVED the kid's chicken legs meal. She devoured it and decided that that's what she'll get next time (if we ever come back while she's still kids-meal-age). Daddy's chicken and ribs (ribs especially) and mommy's Shepard's pie were also good. Lauren liked the apple sauce and grapes... Poseidon's Fury was a lot of fun, to Mommy and Daddy. Both girls freaked out over the darkness and loud sounds. The parents thought Pteranodon's Flyers would be fun and exciting to Evelyn since it's really a high hanging glider and Evelyn loves to swing. Nope. She decided that it was too fast and so, scary. However, we saw a dinosaur hatch in the Discovery Center, so Jurassic Park wasn't a complete bust. Besides, Evelyn had her first Churros, and that girl is sold on it. Walked back to the hotel to play in the heated pool and then ate at the Island again. No hula dancer tonight to our disappointment. The one the night before was wonderful.

Sea World --
Man is this a huge park! Beautiful and big. We visited the aquarium, saw the sea lion and otter show, watched as sea birds try to find crumbs under our lunch table, played at the kiddie rides (Sesame-Place-attitude attendants) and play area (the favorite is probably the 3 story tall slide - both girls went on it 5 or 6 times), watched the Shamu show (Lauren fell asleep before the show ended), and visited sharks and dolphins. Finally, we went back to our hotel, fetched the luggage, and moved on to Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge (Boma -- YUM!).

Epcot --
Lauren only likes Mikey and Minni, and find Donald huggable but marginally. Pluto and Goofy are dogs. Not friendly enough. However, fishes are fun. Lauren rode Nemo three times (once with Evelyn, Mommy and Daddy, and twice with Daddy while Evelyn and Mommy went on Soarin). Soarin? Gorgeous! Too bad the wait was so long that there's no chance for multiple rides. Evelyn did get to go twice though (Lauren is too short to go on so Mommy and Daddy had to take turns). Rapid Rider Switch pass for rides? awsome!! Evelyn got to sit up front at Crush Talk. Lauren stayed there until the show started, then she burst out crying and ran off to look for Mommy (very scary for Mommy to see). Malstorm was still too much for Evelyn. Lunch with the princesses was fabulous. The food was great and the princesses were very nice. Snow White even pointed out to Evelyn that they both have short hair, wear head bands, and has blue tops on. Evelyn's skirt also matches her cape color. Lauren went on the grand procession with the princesses even though Evelyn sat it out. Evelyn loves how the water fountain sprays water all over the place ("is it raining?" asked Mom). Mexico's ride with the three Amigo's was well received, even though it started out dark, and that there was a volcano on the background painting. Imagination was fun. Captain EO was skipped over because "loud noises and darkness may be scary to young children". Spaceship Earth no longer scare either girls. Daddy got to Test Drive and go on a Mission: Space. Evelyn and Lauren explored the climbing structure in the Mission in Space building. Lauren was doing really well until she bumped her back while being high up. Then it was Mommy poking into the kid size structure trying to guide her out through voice. Evelyn eventually got her down, yelling, at the same time, "NEXT TIME DON'T CLIMB DOWN THAT WAY!" Evelyn got to have churros again. Evelyn made a new friend on the bus ride back to the hotel. They took turns telling terrible knock-knock jokes that make absolutely no sense. We had a full day's activity and skipped midday break. Couldn't believe everyone did so well with it.

Magic Kingdom, I --
The rides that ended with Lauren saying "I want to do this again": Winnie the Pooh (rode it twice), It's a Small World (rode it twice; Lauren danced and sang along the second time), Peter Pan, Cinderella's Carousal (of course), the mad tea party (3 times, twice consecutively in the evening), Buzz Lighteryear's space ranger spin, Aladdin's magic carpet ride, and even Pirates of the Caribbean (Evelyn hid with hands over her ears the whole duration and never wanted to go on it again). Philomagic made her very worried for Donald, but that was the first 3D movie that Evelyn truly enjoyed. Snow White was too scary for both of them. Upon Lauren's request, we went on to the People Mover which Evelyn would love for all of us to ride again just so she could see Lauren's cow-bell-eye frozen expression upon finally exiting the dark area within Space Mountain. The breakfast in Cinderella's castle was fun, but Lauren ended up busy eating her French Toast sticks rather then take pictures with princesses. Should Mommy be glad that at least food still counts more then the fancy princesses. Jasmine told her that Abu could stuff 12 grapes in his mouth. I hope that did not become a challenge or an inspiration. We saw all the Disney characters, and even a moving, talking trash can which greatly amused Lauren. We made a makeshift dinner out of one giant turkey leg, popcorn, a pretzel, and a corn dog. Both girls liked the turkey leg, especially Evelyn, making Mommy pleasantly surprised. With the mid day break, during which Evelyn finally tried out and fell in love with the pool's slide, we were able to stay for the fireworks and be greatly amazed by it. It was spectacular. But by then Lauren was too tired, so she was bothered by the loud noises and spent most of it hiding with hands over her ears in the crook of my neck. She fell asleep before we even got out of the park (which took some time what with the crowd).

Baby's been excited and moving as well. He is constantly on me and Lauren's mind (I keep reminding Lauren about it since when I hold her, she's effectively squishing baby) even when we are busy playing.

Happy birthday, dear child.

Happy fifth birthday, my dear!
In the dim morning light, the first thing you said when you woke up beside me was "Mama, am I five now?", and then you proceeded to ask if your legs look longer and if you've grown taller. I smiled and told you that growing up happens in little bits every day, it does not happen overnight on your birthday. Still, when it came time to brush your teeth, you showed me how you can reach the faucet now without your stool (in tiptoe), and how your pajamas look so much shorter on you then they did last night. After rinsing off your toothpaste, you made a funny face and felt a tooth with your tongue. With wrinkled brow, you informed me that you think that tooth is starting to wiggle loose.

Yes, my love, you are growing up so very fast. Maybe not overnight, but definitely in an alarming pace. You are tall enough for certain roller coasters! We are to register you for kindergarten this year! You are almost too old for some indoor play areas! 5 years. A blink of the eye. Looking at you walking in front of me, feeling your back as I laid my hand on your back to guide you, it is clear that you've shed the toddler chubbiness, and is well on your way to the awkward lankiness that I went through.

Do you know how much I love you? From the moment that I learned of your existence, you have continued to show me how amazing it is to be your mother. To watch you laugh and grow. To watch you explore and embrace new experiences. To listen to your songs and stories and thoughts. Even more amazing is to watch you take on your role as a big sister. Do you know how proud I am for how you take care of your sister? You helped Lauren onto the potty the other morning when none of the adults were available (I had to leave early for school), and waited with her until a grown-up can come help her. And all this done without anyone asking you.

Happy birthday, dear child. 5 years old, and on your way to so much more. You can't wait to grow up, to go to college (you'll stay home for it, you told me), to learn to drive, to wear makeup, to do all these grand things. My only hope is for you to also take it slow and love what you are going through now. There's no replacement for the present, for being 5. Enjoy it. I love you.