Pop quiz

1. Which of the following names do you think the baby most associate himself with?
a. Nathan
b. Nathaniel
c. Nat
d. Baby brother

2. Waking up at a reasonable hour (7am) means you might find the 2 and 5 year olds:
a. Wearing nail polish not only on nails, but also on fingers and toes, elbows and noses
b. With a temporary (thank goodness) tattoo on cheek
c. Sitting at their little table, spoons in hand, sharing a jar of peanut butter which they obtained by scaling the cupboards with the help of a kitchen stool
d. All of the above

3. What does the girls get yelled at most with?
a. SPACE! (as in give the baby some space!)
b. SHARE!
c. What did I just say? (Is your ears stuffed with cotton?)
d. Keep the crumbs on your plate!

4. What should a mother do when her baby is asleep? (Please pick a most reasonable option.)
a. Go use the bathroom without having to hold a child in your lap.
b. Eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner without fear of dripping on your baby who is only happy in your arms
c. Do some work (house work or otherwise)
e. Prep lunch/dinner
f. Take a nap
f. All of the above, preferably simultaneously


Answer keys:
1. d. 2.d. 3.a. 4.Hm... the most reasonable option... I think this is a trick question...

As a mother of three

As a mother of more than one, you learn to cook dinner with one arm, nurse the baby that is cradled in the other arm at the same time, and shield him from any potential hot oil splashes with your exposed belly.

You learn to hold the baby in one arm, shower one child with the other arm, while encouraging (through clenched teeth, but calmly, if barely) the one on the potty to hurry up.

You learn to maneuver those bulky shopping carts that has a toy car attached up front making it impossible for you to see what is in front of you. You have to, once  you've run over your own child who was dragging her feet right at your blind spot, or knock over a display or two (or three or four).

You learn that a child can fit herself into a shopping cart in thirty seven different ways, thirty two of which are one way only. You also learn to ignore the onlookers curious glances while extracting the child.

You learn that no matter how you cook it, a broccoli is a broccoli is a broccoli. And it is not finding its way into your children's mouth.

You learn the many shades of whine of a child, none of which are pleasant.

You also learn the various brightness of laughter, all of which make life so much better.

Summer evenings, on the porch swing

Happiness can be found on the porch swing on a mild summer evening when the breeze blows cool and gentle and the little one nests contently on my chest while the two girls run happily around the yard collecting fallen leaves and weeds for their stove that is the front step.